nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
