the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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