he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
