I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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