Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
