i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
