Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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