The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
