I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
