eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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