OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
