get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
