I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
