ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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