is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
