I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
