I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
