How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
