I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
