Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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