Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
