we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
