That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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