It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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