omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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