her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
