She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
