That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
