I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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