I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
