So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
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