Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
