He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
