Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
