so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
