OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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