I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
