I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
