its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
