8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
