im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
