at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
