The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
