none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We got so high we made milksteak
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
