google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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