I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
