At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
