I wish I only lived at night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
