escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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