Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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